I’ve been doing that thing called learning.
Every day I have begun again.
My life is like a candle burning.
In the fires, I have found my Zen.
I live in a world filled with anarchy.
I have battled the front lines of darkness.
I have stood with my friends in unity.
I have fought to bring back their sparkle.
I have studied Durkheim, Weber and Jung.
Travelled the world with Mr Bryson.
Found Shakespeare in a crowded room
and Chesterton in darkest London.
I’ve climbed atop Arthurs Seat (Scotland),
and rode a plastic cart down the Great Wall.
I’ve drunk Champagne on the banks of the Seine
and got lost in a Kowloon mall.
I’ve driven along Australian highways
in my beautiful Red Capri,
I’ve swum about Port Phillip Bay
and watched the stars on the drive to Sydney.
I’ve felt the emptiness of waiting rooms
and drunk coffee that tastes like piss
I’ve felt the skies roar with thunderous booms
peace and miracles are my Christmas wish.
I’ve worn different characters and costumes,
they have called me Chum, Alice and Red.
The weirdest one was in a ballroom,
and like Cinderella, I danced and fled.
I have laughed until I’m blinded by tears,
and cried till I couldn’t breath
moments made memories through the years
of my friends, my family and me.
What have I been doing since high school?
Well, simply put, it’s just like this
I’ve been playing the game, learning the rules,
creating memories to reminisce.
Everything has a story,
the who, what, why and where.
I spend my life journaling
and watching them, over there.
Our stories come through music,
through books and on the screen,
they make us laugh out loud
and sometimes even scream.
I’m trying to find my story
but I’ve been locked away by time
I never really grew up
so there’s nothing on this line.
These hazel eyes feel empty,
the tears I’v been holding back
what’s the use in crying?
I don’t know how to react.
Who is this blank person,
glaring back at me?
Is there anything inside her?
I find, I can’t breathe.
I drive the road, unchartered
my past clings to the mirror
I don’t know what is out there
I can’t see what’s in my future.
I see the tree’s sparkle,
and there I find my peace
Crackling bacon and laughter
snug in a winter fleece.
I tell myself I don’t need them
I’m happy driving alone
but all my dreams include them
I think of them as home.
How do I break down this wall?
How do I engage?
I just want to wake up.
I want to be on their page.
This soliloquy could be endless
I could write from dawn to dusk
But the world is outside waiting,
and I have to try, I must.
I like to live the way I want to live
in my own company, completely free.
My choices. I don’t ask you to forgive
coz I only answer to one person. Me.
I’ve been cleaning out yesterdays wardrobe,
my boots and pack are asleep on the shelf
neighbours to treasures from across the globe
above the costumes, that make me myself.
I bought sunflowers because they make me smile.
I have Frankie for when I want to escape.
My Sharpies are defenders of my creative trials
as I colour the pieces of my landscape.
My Chinese lanterns hang over Big Ben,
reflecting my memories of magical Earth,
collection of moments; who, what and when,
my friends as I descend, from birth to hearse.
Breathing out my thoughts,
words formed upon Queenstown Hill;
“I am. I am here”.
long before the beginning
my road keeps growing.
Moments, I can
say goodbye to past me
just remember to breath.
Benches are made for rest
as I ascend the valley
dodging the boulders.
An iron gate creaks open
I follow ancient steps
in the winter chill.
The road changes
from forest to jagged rocks
the mountains are my compass.
The sun will keep time moving
but forever will wait
it’s just another moment
it’s just another story
it’s just my journey.